


Starlight

by SqueeG1



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-05
Updated: 2006-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SqueeG1/pseuds/SqueeG1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU tangent. Sam can't adjust to life following "Beneath the Surface". Language warning. Drinking in a bar. Some sexual references. SJ</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many, many thanks to my beta reader CeeKay Sheppard.

_ ~Chapter 1~ _

“Hi, Sam.”

“Daniel?  Are you okay?  Is something wrong?” Sam asked, concerned.  Looking at her watch, she was startled that it was so late.  She realized that she’d been home for a couple of hours and had lost track of time.  Again.

“No, no.  I’m okay.  I just wanted – well, just thought you might want some company,” Daniel explained, trying to put her mind at ease.  Although, to be honest, this wasn’t really a standard social call.

“When it’s you, Daniel, I’d never say no to company.”

Sam stepped aside and motioned for Daniel to come in, then walked ahead of him into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” she asked, even though she had already opened the freezer for the grounds.  The question was a social nicety.  The answer, despite the late hour, was a given.  Daniel smiled, nodded and leaned against the counter.  The pair lapsed into a common, although unusually strained, silence.

After the coffee was made and two mugs poured, Sam followed Daniel into her living room.  Daniel took the chair and Sam sat back on the sofa, knees drawn up to her chest.  Lost in thought, she stared into the dark liquid in her mug where she had placed it on the coffee table.

After several minutes Daniel cleared his throat, breaking the odd silence.

“Uh, Sam?”

“Yeah Karlan?” Sam replied quietly, still distracted.

Caught off guard, Daniel looked at Sam sharply.  Although they’d all been long certified fit to go back on active duty, Sam seemed to have had the hardest time adjusting to life back at the SGC following the mind-stamp the members of SG-1 had been subjected to on P3R-118.  The last few weeks, Sam hadn’t been quite herself.  Now he knew that his reasons to be concerned were real.  Daniel put his coffee down on the table as well, stood up and moved to where Sam sat on the couch.  The motion broke Sam out of her reverie.

“What’s wrong, Daniel?”

Sitting close beside her on the couch, Daniel responded with a question of his own.  “Are you okay, Sam?  I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m fine Daniel.  I’m just… I’ve been…”

“Distracted?” he supplied.

“You mean more than usual?  Is that possible?” she quipped, showing a bit more of her normal self.

“Well, yeah.  After all you did just…” Daniel broke off, unsure of how to bring up the fact that Sam had called him by a different name.  A name that hadn’t been his for more than a month now.  Would it make things better or worse?

“‘I did just’ what?” Sam questioned after Daniel didn’t continue.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”  Daniel decided to let the matter drop.  Sam would probably clam up if he pushed the issue.  “Just, you know you can talk to me, right?  If you ever need to.”

“Daniel, you’re going to make * _me*_ worry about * _you*_.  For starters, you haven’t even finished your coffee yet.”

“Well, if you’d remember to buy coffee filters instead of using a paper towel…”

“Well, I’ve been a bit busy lately, you know, reprogramming an alien bomb.  Trying to explain the importance of the number ‘zero’ to some guy,” she replied with a grin.

“Well, you really should get your priorities in order, Sam.”

They traded a few more friendly jibes, and Daniel started to relax a bit.  Now that Sam was talking, she seemed to have shaken off a bit of the funk she’d been in.  Daniel knew that she still wasn’t a hundred percent there, but with time, he was sure she’d come around.  The two of them lapsed back into silence.  This time it was the regular, comfortable silence of two people that don’t have to fill the spaces with chatter.

“If I just sit here, I’m going to fall asleep.  Want to play a board game?” Sam suggested.

“Sure.”

“Trivial Pursuit?” she asked hopefully.

“Scrabble,” countered Daniel.

“Gin rummy it is.  I’ll get the cards.”

\---------------

Daniel eventually stretched his arms above his head and said that he really should be getting home.  Although it was a Friday, it was still rather late.  Sam walked him to the door.  They hugged, and Daniel walked out onto the porch.  Before he moved away from the door, Sam quickly grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Thanks.”

She didn’t need to say any more.  Daniel responded with a smile and a squeeze of his own.

“Anytime.”

Sam watched Daniel walk down to his car.  As it pulled away from the curb, she raised her hand in farewell.  As soon as the car was out of sight, her hand dropped to her side.  Sam stood there for a moment, the light mood she had been in dissipating now that Daniel was gone.  Shaking her head she walked back into the living room and returned to her seat on the couch.  Legs once again pressed up against her chest, she stared into the now empty mug on the table.

_ ~Chapter 2~ _

Answering the knock, General Hammond was startled to see Samantha Carter standing on his doorstep early on a Saturday morning.

“Major Carter, is there something I can help you with?”

“I was wondering if we could… talk, sir.”

“Would we be talking in an official capacity, or as family friends?” Hammond questioned with his usual insight.

With a small smile, Sam acknowledged, “As family friends, sir, with a bit of official guidance.”

“Come in, Sam.”

\---------------

Jack O’Neill wandered into the SGC on Monday morning whistling tunelessly.  As Jack approached the check-in point, the SF informed him that General Hammond had requested the Colonel see him as soon as he reported for duty.  That was never a good sign.  Jack pondered what paperwork he might have missed, screwed up, ignored, accidentally or ‘accidentally’ filed improperly, and all the variations of same, as he made his way to Hammond’s office.  He found the door to his CO’s office open and knocked ‘shave and a haircut’ on the doorframe. 

General Hammond gestured for O’Neill to close the door, and then indicated a chair with a “Sit down, son.”

‘Oh, this is not going to be good,’ Jack thought.  Trying not to jump to conclusions, he joked, “A ‘son’ already, George?  It’s a little early isn’t it?  I swear I brought the paperwork in with me.”

Ignoring the irreverence, General Hammond went straight to the point, “Major Carter has resigned from her position at the SGC.  In fact, from the military altogether.”

Hammond watched the emotions play quickly across his 2IC’s face - disbelief, anger, hurt, and more – before they were controlled and O’Neill’s face was impassive.  Stony.

“May I ask * _why*_ , sir?”

“Major Carter indicated that she had personal issues to resolve and felt that could best be accomplished by exploring the possibilities outside of the Air Force.”  Hammond added, “I’m sorry, Jack.”

“Yes, sir.  Is that all, sir?”

“Would you like me to tell the rest of SG-1, or will you speak with them?”

“No, sir.  I will tell them,” O’Neill responded in clipped tones, rising from his chair.

“In that case, could you please give Dr. Jackson this envelope?  Major Carter asked that he take care of her house for her in her absence.”

“Fine sir.  Dismissed, sir?”

“Yes, son, dismissed.”

As Jack O’Neill opened the door and left without another word, General Hammond sighed in resignation.  If only he’d been able to convince Sam to stay.

\---------------

“She what?!” exclaimed Daniel.  “Jack, we have to go find her!”

“Daniel…” Jack began in warning.

“Jack!”  Putting his head in his hands, Daniel muttered, “This is my fault.  This is all my fault.”

“How can it be your fault?  She’s the one that left!”

“Jack, how can you just accept that Sam’s gone?”

“Daniel!”

“I knew something was wrong with her.  She hasn’t been herself for awhile now.”

“I know that!  But if she wouldn’t say what was going on, then how…”

“She called me Karlan on Friday.”

“What?”

“You heard me.  She called me Karlan, but I didn’t want to push, so I let it drop.  We have to find her, Jack.”

Jack pushed his hand through his hair in exasperation.  “Look, just drop it.  We’re not going after her.  She made her decision.”

“Teal’C?  You agree with me, don’t you?” Daniel turned to the other man, who had yet to add anything to the conversation.

“I agree with O’Neill, Daniel Jackson.”

Overlapping shocked responses of “What?” (from Daniel) and “You do?” (from O’Neill) echoed around the room.

“Major Carter has apparently expressed her desire not to seek our counsel in this matter.  While I may not understand her reasons, I will respect her wishes.”  Turning to O’Neill, he added, “However, O’Neill, I believe that your reasons for not wanting to pursue Major Carter have more to do with your anger than with respect.”

O’Neill opened his mouth to retort, then snapped it shut.  He stalked from the room.

_ ~Chapter 3~ _

Jack O’Neill walked purposefully up the front walkway of the bungalow.  He nonchalantly waved at the neighbour next door even as he jimmied the lock.  The best way to get away with being someplace you weren’t supposed to be was to act like that’s exactly where you belonged.

Jack pushed open the door and entered Sam’s house.  He’d never been here alone before, just with the rest of SG-1.

Jack walked into the main area.  There were two boxes on the island separating the kitchen from the living room.  He moved over to the counter and picked up the piece of paper, which was folded in half with “Daniel” written across it.  He unabashedly read the note Carter had written.

Daniel:  Please keep an eye on the house for me.  The bills have been set up for automatic payment from my account.  You’ll find all the necessary paperwork in the top drawer of the filing cabinet.  You might want to consider renting the place out to someone so that you don’t need to deal with the upkeep.

Please keep these two boxes with you.  There is nothing else in the house that I can’t do without.

I’m sorry to leave like this.  I love you.  Sam.

Jack resisted the urge to crumple the paper in his fist and placed it back on the counter.  He figured that he’d check out the rest of the house first before turning his attention to the boxes.

He wandered into Carter’s bedroom and started opening closets and drawers.  Most of them were still full of clothes.  She was travelling light, then.  His search of the bathroom showed that the basic toiletries had been taken.  Heading back out into the living room, he walked through to the small den/reading room.  Her laptop was gone.

“There’s a surprise,” he thought derisively.

A quick search of the basement didn’t show anything in particular.  In the garage he saw that Sam had opted for her car instead of one of her bikes.  He made a mental note to do a motor vehicle search on the car, although chances were that she’d sold it and bought something else.  Sam Carter wasn’t stupid.  Clearly not rational at the moment, but never stupid.

Jack returned to the house, stacked the boxes one on top of the other, and took them over to the couch.  He set them down on the coffee table, hesitated, and then opened first one and then the other.

In the boxes were the things that Sam valued the most.  Photo albums, pictures of her with her family, small knickknacks that were clearly treasures either for what they were or who had given them to her, a jewellery box with small trinkets.

At the top of one of the boxes was a framed picture of SG-1 taken at the charity softball game held against the Air Force Academy hospital last summer.  Jack stared at the picture for a long time.

Finally he turned to the photo albums.  He flipped through a few of the older ones with a small smile on his face at the pictures of a very young Sam Carter.  Pictures of her at birthdays, playing baseball, receiving awards in school.  Pictures of her with her family, particularly the ones of her with her mom and Jacob.  Looking with interest at the brother that, until last year, Sam hardly ever spoke about or to.  Here and there, pictures had been taken out of the albums.  Clearly, pictures that were so special that Sam couldn’t bear to leave them behind, even under the watchful eye of Daniel.

Jack took a couple of pictures out of the albums.  After all, a few more would not likely be missed.  He also pocketed a bracelet and necklace Sam often wore on the occasions when the team went out after work.

He carefully repacked the boxes, moved them back to the counter, replaced the note to Daniel on top, and left the house.  He walked back to his truck, parked around the block in case Daniel showed up sooner than Jack believed he would.  He had counted on Daniel’s guilt and sadness to keep him away long enough.

_ ~Chapter 4~ _

Hearing the bell ring above the door, Mitch looked up from his position behind the counter of the diner.  He watched as a tall blonde with a short bob gave the room a once-over before she walked toward him with a smile on her face.

“Hi, are you Mitch?”

“That I am.  Something I can help you with?”

“Well, apparently there might be something I can help you with.  The gentleman at the gas station down the road said that you might be looking for a waitress?”

Now it was Mitch’s turn to give her a once-over.  She stood still, looking at him with the smile still on her face.  She seemed clean cut and respectable.  Of course, these days, those might just be the ones you needed to look out for more.  But Mitch considered himself an expert judge of character, and liked the way the woman met his eyes during his inspection.

“There’s a gentleman at the gas station?” Mitch scoffed.  “Could’ve fooled me.  You must mean Tyler.  So he told you I needed a waitress, huh?  You have any experience?”

“Well, sir, I have some experience waitressing.  Unfortunately, I don’t have any references.  I’m travelling across the country and taking jobs here and there to pay for gas and food.”

“Well, that answers my question about what brings you to Alaska.  ‘Finding yourself,’ I suppose?”

A quick flash of – something – crossed Sam’s face before she replied quietly, “I seem to be.”

Mitch decided it was better to leave that one alone for now.  “How long are you planning on staying?”

“I was hoping to stay in this area for a couple of weeks at least.  Of course, if I can’t find work, then I’ll probably have to move on sooner rather than later,” Sam admitted.

“Hm.”  Mitch rubbed the bridge of his nose with his one hand as he thought.  Although he’d already made up his mind, he didn’t want to let the stranger know that so it was awhile before he replied,  “Okay, here’s the deal.  My usual waitress, Jessica, broke her arm yesterday.  I haven’t heard from her yet about what the doc had to say.  So I may be able to offer you at least a month’s worth of work.  But because you don’t have any references, I want to see how you work first.  I’ll pay you $8.50 an hour for the day, cash on the table, and see how things are after a couple of hours.  How does that sound?”

A grin lit up Sam’s face.  “Deal,” she stated as she held out her hand.

“So you already know my name.  What’s your name, then?”

“Sa…lly.  Sally Jackson.”

Mitch gave her a hard look.  Sam chewed on her bottom lip, knowing that she’d slipped, and silently berated herself, ‘How could I have been that obvious?’

Once again, Mitch decided to give her another shot.

“Why don’t we agree on something else?  I’ll ask you no more questions, and you’ll tell me no more lies.”

Sam let out the breath she’d been holding.  “Deal.”

\---------------

Several hours later, Mitch decided that Sally would probably work out just fine.  After a walk around behind the counter to show her where everything was and informing the cook in the back that there would indeed be a waitress today, Mitch had taken up his place behind the counter again.  Time to let the new fish figure out whether she could swim.

And swim she did.  Sally had only been shown where all of the dishes and cutlery were kept once, and after a brief look at the menu seemed to know the entire price list.  Including the specials.

Mitch habitually glanced up as the bell over the door sounded.  ‘Well now, this ought to be interesting,’ he thought as he took in the scruffy appearance of the newcomer, who had just clocked the appearance of the waitress wiping down one of the tables.

The large man made a beeline for the woman.  Placing himself behind her, uncomfortably within her personal space, he declared, “I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?”

Mitch’s stomach dropped at the dangerous look that passed across the woman’s face.  He pushed himself off of his chair as Sally whirled around to face the man behind her.  Before Mitch could open his mouth to call a warning, she had schooled her face into a polite mask.

“Oh darlin’, you’re gonna have to do * _way*_ better than that,” Sam drawled with a sad shake of her head.

The man was silent for a moment then threw back his head and started to laugh.  “Hey Mitch – where’d you get this one?  Where’s Jess?”

Mitch hurried over to the pair. “Hoss, leave’er alone.  Sorry about that,” he addressed the woman beside him.  “Eric here is one of my pilots.  He’s an ass.”

“Hey!  I happen to be a first class ass,” exclaimed Eric.  “Call me Hoss.  You know, like Bonanza.  So, what’s your name, then, sweetheart?”

Mitch glowered and responded in Sam’s place, “Her name’s Sally, not sweetheart.  And she’s filling in for Jess, who broke her arm.”

Hoss immediately dropped his ‘big man’ act.  “Oh, damn, Mitch.  She okay?”

“Yeah, but she won’t be able to carry anything with her left arm for a month.  Sally here turned up at the right time to fill in.”

Now reassured that the absent waitress would be fine, Hoss quickly returned to the boorish manner he seemed to favour.  Winking at Sally he quipped, “It’s all about * _timing*_ , isn’t it?”

Sam just rolled her eyes at him, and turned to Mitch with the question she’d been dying to ask.

“Pilots?”

“Yeah, in addition to the diner I run a bush pilot business just down the road.  It’s the family’s, but my brother couldn’t care less.  He decided he preferred New York a couple years back and dumped the day-to-day operations on me.  But hey, as long as he keeps the place afloat if times are tough, that’s fine by me.”

“Yeah Sal, I’ll take you out sometime to do loop-de-loops,” Mitch interjected.

“Maybe I’ll show you some loop-de-loops of my own,” Sam retorted as she walked away from the men with an armload of dishes.  Just before pushing through the door to the kitchen she finished with, “But only if you’re a really good boy.”

Mitch had to chuckle at the look on Hoss’ face.  Seemed like things were going to get interesting around here.

_ ~Chapter 5~ _

It hadn’t been an easy couple of months at the SGC.  Colonel O’Neill stormed around the complex like a bear with a sore paw.

Dr. Daniel Jackson holed up in his lab or at Sam’s house, having decided that he’d rather stay there than rent it to a stranger.

Teal’C, of course, was the soul of reason.  Unfortunately, neither of his friends regularly or willingly sought his counsel.

Then there was the variable fourth member of the team, none of whom managed to stay very long.  Most lasted for a mission or two before they asked General Hammond to transfer them off the team.  If they didn’t make the request on their own, it was guaranteed that O’Neill would make the request for them.

After several months of O’Neill’s impossible behaviour, General Hammond approached Major Louis Ferretti and asked if he would relinquish command of SG-2 to become the 2IC of SG-1.  After Ferretti accepted the position, General Hammond informed O’Neill that this was the end of the road.  If O’Neill was unable to work with Ferretti, there were no further options.  SG-1 would be disbanded and reassigned.

Gradually, tempers evened out, guilt waned, reason prevailed and things returned to something similar to normal, although one part was still noticeably absent.

_ ~Chapter 6~ _

“Hey Jess, did you want to take the sandwiches over to the shop, or should I?” Sam called over to the short, dark-haired woman clearing a table.

Sam had become close friends with the young woman she had filled in for.  Jessica ended up not able to work for closer to two months because of the broken arm and then the physiotherapy required after the cast had been taken off.  Mitch had kept “Sally” on after Jessica’s return, even though the business at the diner didn’t really require two full-time waitresses.  He found Sally to be entertaining, quick-witted, and smart.  After overhearing her calculate out a split bill for a table of 8 truckers, including a breakdown of tax and recommended tip, * _in her head*_ , he put her to work on the books for the diner and the pilot business.

Trying to appear nonchalant, Jess said, “Naw, you can Sal.  I don’t feel like walking over.  I’ll just stay here and mind the fort.”

Sam smirked at her friend.  “Mmhm.  Why don’t I believe you?  You’ve been spending quite a bit of time over at the shop after all.”

Jess threw the damp cloth she’d been using on the table at Sally, which missed by a mile.  “Shut up!”

Sam giggled quietly as she went over to pick up the cloth.

“Besides, I’ve heard that I shouldn’t appear too eager,” Jess eventually supplied.  “You don’t think I’m being too obvious, do you, Sal?”

“Not to anyone that spends all their time in a sensory deprivation tank,” Sam muttered under her breath and then louder, “Don’t worry Jess, you’re doing fine.  I’ll take the lunch over today.”

“Thanks, Sal.”

\---------------

Sam opened the door to the hangar.  In addition to the planes, there was also a very battered-looking truck in the large room.  Currently, a pair of work boots and legs stuck out from under the truck, and a string of expletives echoed off the metal walls.

Flashing a smile at the old mechanic working on one of the planes, Sam walked over to the work boots and gave one of them a kick.  She was rewarded with more cursing.

“Having problems Hoss?”

Hoss rolled out from under the truck, looked up at Sam, and said, “Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And I’m lost at sea.”

“Nice try.  Anything better?”

“Is there an airport nearby, or is that just my heart taking off?”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that.  “Hoss, you’re in an airplane hanger.”

“Details, details.  Did you bring me food, woman?”

“Yup.”

“Where’s Jess today?”

Sam held the grin in check.  “She was busy at the diner so she sent me instead.  What do you care?  You’re getting fed.”

Too carefully avoiding a response, Hoss started rooting through the bag of food.  Sam glanced back at the truck.

“What’s wrong with your truck?”

“Damned if I know.  I can’t figure it out.”

“Can I take a look?”

Hoss ran an appraising eye over her as he scoffed, “Oh yeah, right,” and then hopped around clutching his shin where he’d been kicked.  By the time he recovered, he found Sally was under the truck and making a fair bit of noise as she shifted tools around.

“Sal, if you wreck my truck, I swear…”

\---------------

Sam sat in a lounge chair behind the diner, in her coat and with a blanket draped across her legs.  The green, slightly large ball-cap she favoured partially obscured her face.  Fortunately, it was a relatively balmy 60 degrees out.  When she wasn’t working, Sam spent a lot of time outside looking at the stars – weather permitting.  She sat there for hours in silence with a troubled look on her face as she stared into the night sky.  Mitch often worried about her, sitting outside in the chilly weather for so long, and tonight was no exception.  He walked over to her side and handed her a cup of coffee.  She took it with a thanks and a smile.

Mitch took a seat in a neighbouring chair and stared up at the sky with her, wondering at her fascination.  He finally broke the silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a mechanic?”

“You didn’t ask,” she responded with a slight smile, gently reminding him of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy they established that first day.

“Sal,” he started.

“You weren’t looking for a mechanic, Mitch, you were looking for a waitress.  And I was looking for a job.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been here long enough.  You should have told me.  Can you fix planes?”

“I haven’t had a lot of experience * _fixing*_ planes.  Mostly just cars and motorcycles.  But I can learn.”

“Anything else I should know about?”

“Such as?”

Mitch just fixed her with a flat stare until she quietly confessed, “Okay, okay.  I also fly.”

“Are you any good?” he asked, even though he was sure he knew the true answer – regardless of what she would say.

And true to form, Sam responded unassumingly with, “I was okay.  I’m out of practice.  And it’s been a very long time since I flew anything similar to a bush plane.”

“Tomorrow, you start fixing planes.  Then we’ll get you to flyin’.”

_ ~Chapter 7~ _

Jack stormed over to the door of his house, flung it open and yelled, “What?!” at the person that had been banging on his door at such an obscenely early hour in the morning.

Daniel pushed his way past Jack waving a newspaper at him excitedly, talking a mile a minute, “I found her Jack, I know where she is.  Quick, get dressed.  I haven’t had time to book flights yet, and we need to go to the base to get Teal’C.  Why are you still standing there?  Can I use your computer?  I’ll get the tickets on-li-”

“Daniel!”  The sharp yell stopped the young man in his tracks.

“Jack?  Come on, we-”

“I’m not going to look for Carter, Daniel.  She’s been gone for almost two years now.  If she wanted to, she could have contacted us.”  Once again, he felt a twinge of anger and sorrow that last statement caused to surface.  She didn’t want to contact them.  Him.  “You’re not goi-”

“SHUT UP, JACK!”  Daniel yelled with uncharacteristic heat and venom.  “I don’t care what you want.  I don’t care what you say!  I miss her.  And I found her.  If you don’t want to come with me, * _fine*_.  But you’re not going to stop me!”  Daniel pushed his way back out the door past the stock-still O’Neill.  He hurried over to his car, got in, started it and sped away from the house.

Jack quickly grabbed his keys off the hook by the door and started to leave the house.  Looking down at his sleeping attire of nothing but a pair of boxers, he muttered a curse.  He darted back into the house.  Fifteen minutes later, after dressing and grabbing what he needed, he was in his truck – cursing ‘that blasted archaeologist’ the whole way.

\---------------

Arriving at the SGC, Jack made a beeline for Daniel’s office.  As he entered, he saw Daniel and Teal’C bent over the computer.  Teal’C straightened and raised an eyebrow.  Daniel glanced up and scowled.

“Go away, Jack.”

“Okay, where to?”

“I don’t care.”

With a sigh, he replied, “I mean, where are we going?”

Daniel looked at him with an expression of distrust mingled with hope.  “Alaska.”  After a pause he added, “Should I get a ticket for you too?”

“No,” Jack responded and then held up a hand as Daniel’s face darkened again.

“Do you have any idea how much a flight to Alaska costs?  Danny, you * _do*_ work for the Air Force, remember?  I’ll get us a hop.”

Jack wandered off to talk to General Hammond.  And to call in a couple of favours.

\---------------

Several hours later, the three men were seated uncomfortably in the hold of a cargo plane on its way to Seattle.  Not even the illustrious Colonel Jack O’Neill could arrange a hop directly to Alaska.  O’Neill sat with his head back and his eyes closed.  Daniel kept looking at him and finally asked, “What made you change your mind, Jack?”

Ignoring the question, Jack asked one of his own.  “Why Alaska?”

“Well, I was reading the Anchorage Daily News and-”

“Why were you reading the Anchorage Daily News?”

“They may have found some artefacts in a glacier and I wanted to read about it.”

“Ah, rocks,” scoffed O’Neill with an understanding smile towards Teal’C.  “Continue.”

“* _Anyway*_ , I was reading the paper and came across a story about some guy winning a bush pilot race.  And look, look in the background of his picture.”  Daniel pulled the newspaper out of his pack and thrust it towards Jack.

Jack stared at the picture.  There, off to the left side of the picture, was Sam.  Undeniably.  Sure, the picture was grainy.  Sure, she was turned to the side, not facing the camera.  Sure, her hair was longer.  But it was undeniably Sam.  Jack’s gut clenched.  As nonchalantly as he could, fighting the urge to keep the paper himself, he passed it back to Daniel.

“Nice catch, Daniel.”

Then he put his head back and closed his eyes again.  Shutting out the two men sitting near him.  Shutting out as much as he could.

_ ~Chapter 8~ _

Hearing the bell ring above the door, Mitch looked up from his position behind the counter of the diner.  He watched as three large men entered the diner.  Not truckers, though.  He took in the packs on their backs, which looked to be military issue.  The three men quickly scanned the room, checking their surroundings.  Yup, gotta be military.

Moving out from behind the counter he walked towards them. “Hello, gentlemen.  Can I get you a seat and bring you some menus?”

The younger man with glasses looked at the older man with silver hair, as if for confirmation, before replying, “Uh, actually we’re here to ask about tours out into the bush.  We stopped by a hangar down the road.  The sign said to come here?”

“Oh, yeah.  I’m a bit short-staffed today.  What kind of tour would you be interested in?  Did you find us through our brochure?  Usually people book before they come up here.  We’re close to the end of the season, actually.”

Apparently, this one was the designated spokesman, as he continued, “Well, um, I actually saw your picture in the paper.  You won some kind of race didn’t you?  And that’s what made us decide to um, well, we thought we’d come up here and check the place out.”  Which wasn’t a lie.  Exactly.

Mitch laughed.  “Ha, yeah – I was coerced into joining that damn thing.  But thank you anyway Mr…?”

“Jackson.  Dr. Daniel Jackson.  So we were just wondering what…” Daniel prattled on about locations, and prices unaware of the tight look on the man’s face.  But Jack noticed it.  His eyes narrowed as he examined the pilot.  Something wasn’t right.

Finally the man interrupted Daniel, saying, “Well, actually, Dr… Jackson, we really are too close to the end of the season to book anything.  Too bad you made the trip all the way up here.  Maybe we can arrange something for next year.  Or I could set you up with a buddy of mine further south.  Their season lasts a little longer than ours.”

‘Yup,’ thought Jack, ‘Something’s up.  He’s trying to get rid of us.  Carter must have mentioned Daniel or something.’

Daniel, still unaware of the undercurrent occurring in the conversation, continued talking to Mitch, asking about local tours.

Just as Mitch was about to take a more forceful stand on the issue, the door behind the counter opened and Sam walked through the door carrying a large box.  Her hair was tucked up under a battered green ball-cap.  ‘So that’s where that went to,’ was about the only coherent thought that went through Jack’s head as he stared at the woman he had once spent so much of his life with.  He struggled to keep his face impassive.

Sam had walked through the door with the box, about to greet her friend and boss.  Instead she stopped dead at the sight of the three men standing with him.  Her face paled, her mouth dropped open slightly, her stomach fell, and she stared.  She glanced at each of them, but her eyes came to rest on him.  Of course.

‘Oh damn,’ thought Mitch.  He looked from Sally to the men and then back to Sally.  His instincts had been right.  This was trouble.  He had to get that broken look off of her face.  Business.  Talk business.  He broke the silence with, “Hey Starlight, how was the east passage?”

Absently, still focused on the other three, she responded quietly, “I, uh – I took The Gap.”

“Dammit, Starlight, I told you The Gap was closed!” Mitch exclaimed, his annoyance making him temporarily forget whatever else was going on.  But it knocked Sam out of her reverie.

Finally putting the box down on the counter, Sam pulled off the hat and tossed it onto the box.  She tucked a wisp of her now shoulder-length hair behind her ear.  Then she moved around the counter and walked towards Mitch.  “And I told you that the radio was cutting out.” Sam retorted with a small but cheeky grin.

“And I told * _you*_ that was bullshit and you knew it!  Do that again, missy, and you’ll be grounded.”

“Figuratively or literally?”  She was beside him now and bent over to give Mitch a quick kiss on his cheek.  As she pulled back he gave her a concerned look.  She muttered quietly, hoping that only he would hear her, “It’s okay.”

Sam moved back towards the counter.  Other than her initial reaction, she showed no acknowledgement of the three men that were watching her every move.  Mitch was uncomfortable, but decided to take her lead.  He started asking her questions about the supply run she had just come back from, the two of them chattering about people she had seen, local gossip and news.

Sam moved confidently behind the counter.  She took four mugs off of a shelf, pulled a face at the, no doubt bitter, coffee remaining in the pot.  She dumped it out and set about making a new pot, all the while chattering with Mitch, her easy movements a cover.  Carefully ignoring the others.  Carefully pushing away the panic.  Carefully pushing away the joy, the turmoil in her heart and mind.

As the coffee maker began to splutter and gurgle, signalling that it was done brewing, Sam poured out coffee into the four mugs, automatically making each one to suit the preferences of the people that would be drinking them.  When she returned the milk to the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of fruit juice and a pie, setting them on the counter.  As she did a man came through the door she had entered before.  He watched as she put the juice and pie down on the counter and walked towards her as she turned away.  Sam stretched to get a glass off the shelf and he took that opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist.

In a low, growling voice he said to Sam, “Baby, you’re so hot you’d make the devil sweat.”

Mitch turned his head to the right at a quick movement beside him.  The imposing man that had been standing behind the other two strangers had placed a hand firmly on the shoulder of the older man.  Mitch hadn’t seen a look that murderous for almost two years.  No, he corrected automatically, this one was worse.  He didn’t know whether he should step in front of the man or get the hell out of the way.  From the look on Dr. Jackson’s face, he was thinking the same thing.

Sam had tensed at the arms Hoss put around her waist.  Somewhere deep in her brain the thought, ‘Oh, this is not good,’ floated through.  But outwardly, she reacted as she normally would, turning in Hoss’ arms and looking into his eyes.

“Better.  The answer’s still no.  But better.”  Sam couldn’t help but start to laugh.  Not a giggle, but a full out laugh.  “Good Lord, Hoss, where on Earth did you get that line?”

Hoss removed his arms from her waist and had the decency to look slightly sheepish as he admitted, “From Jess, actually.”

Placing a hand in the centre of his chest, Sam pushed him further away from her.  “Oh, nice!  Try to get into my pants with a line you got from your wife.  Get out of here, you old dog.”  Turning around again, she grabbed another mug off the shelf, poured another cup of coffee, and handed it to Hoss.  Then, after pouring the juice into a glass, she pushed the other drinks across the counter as a silent indication they should be taken.  As she started cutting up the pie, Teal’C walked to the counter and took the juice.  He nodded at her with his usual small smile and she flashed him a quick smile back.  Then Daniel approached the counter and took his coffee.  Sam couldn’t quite meet his eyes, fearing the guilt that he would see in hers, not seeing the guilt in his own.  Then Mitch took his.

O’Neill stood like a rock.  He made no move towards the counter.  He was still trying to control the red haze that rocketed around in his head.  His fists clenched and unclenched.

As the strangers grabbed their drinks, Hoss looked at them curiously.  “So, what brings you to town?”

Once again Daniel was spokesman.  “Uh, we’re actually here to find out about trips out into the bush.  But apparently we’ve arrived at the tail end of the season.”  He finished with a bit of mockery in his voice, glancing at Mitch.  Daniel had now realized full well the reason Mitch had been trying to put him off.  Mitch had the decency to look slightly guilty.

“Ah, that’s crap.  Starlight here will fly through just about anything, won’tcha?” he addressed the woman next to him.

Sam shot him a look that clearly said ‘shut up.’  As usual Hoss ignored it.

“After all, she flew through The Gap today.  And the wind in there was shit.  I mean, that place is bad on a good day.  Gusty winds, sharp rocks, small plane – not a great combination.  And right now it’s really – OW!”

Sam had kicked his shin as she avoided the glare she was getting from Mitch.  And the colonel.

“Don’t you have someplace better to be?” she questioned Hoss. “You know, like dead?”

“Actually, we both have someplace better to be.”  At her blank stare, he continued, “You know, I was supposed to pick you up to go-”

“Shit!” Sam interrupted.  “I completely forgot!  Give me 10 minutes, I have to shower.”  With that, she dashed from behind the counter and towards a door on the far side of the room.

“Yeah right!  What woman can get ready in 10 minutes?”  Hoss quipped as she fled.

“That one,” Jack responded before his brain could censor itself.  Jack felt all eyes in the room turn on him.  ‘Ah, hell.’  Ignoring them all, he walked over and grabbed his coffee.  And pie.

_ ~Chapter 9~ _

Jack could still feel all eyes on him.  He kept his eyes on his pie and quietly willed the universe to save him.  Meteor, Goa’uld attack, anything!  His saviour came in the form of a dark-haired woman who came in through the door behind the counter.

“Hello, idiot boy.  Remember me?  Your wife?  Sitting in the car while you’re in here drinking coffee?” she questioned sarcastically, giving Hoss a push on the shoulder, the affectionate smile she was trying hard to repress softening the words spoken.

“Hey – it’s Sally’s fault.  She hasn’t even taken a shower yet!”

“Whatever.  Hi, Mitch.”

“Hey, Jess, how’re you doing?”

“Oh, I can’t complain.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Hoss tossed in with a grin.

“Oh, you I can complain to.  It’s my legal right.”

Suddenly Sam rushed back into the room, swearing, “Damn, damn, damn.  Where have all my hair elastics gone?  I swear I am cutting this all off.”  She was dressed in a pair of black pants, a black bra and a towel wrapped around her head.  Jack’s mouth went dry, but try as he might, he couldn’t pull his eyes off her like he should.

“You’ve been saying that once a week since you got here.  Here Sal, take one of mine.”  Jess pulled an elastic off her wrist and handed it to her friend.

Dropping a kiss on her cheek, Sam said, “Thanks Jess!  I’ll be back out in a sec.”  Sam turned and hurried back towards the other door.  Clearly, the living quarters were attached to the diner.

“Okay.  Hey – how’d the line work?”

Over her shoulder Sam threw back the words, “Funny, Jess.  I might just have to sleep with * _you*_.”

Jess let out a burst of laughter.  Then she turned to Hoss.  “Stop drooling.  You too.”  This directed at Jack.  He started.  Damn, once again all eyes were on him.  Jess came around the counter towards him.

Holding out her hand she introduced herself.  “Hi, I’m Jess.  And you are?”

“O’Neill.  Jack O’Neill.”  Nope, no sign of recognition of the name from her.

“You may call me ‘Murray,’” Teal’C responded to the woman’s unspoken question.

“And last but not least…?”

“I’m Daniel.  Daniel Jackson.  We’re here to-”

There was recognition.  With a smile and a question, Jess interrupted.  “Any relation?”

Daniel was clearly confused, “Relation?”

“To Sal, Sally Jackson.”

The sound of Jack coughing as he choked on his coffee was the only response.  That would explain why Mitch had suddenly clammed up earlier.  He turned slowly and pinned Daniel with a hard look.

\---------------

As Sam moved quickly around the bedroom, she was well and truly in a state.  She wasn’t even sure how they’d found her.  She could hear the muffled sound of Jessica’s voice from the other room.  And then coughing.  She stopped suddenly and closed her eyes, rubbing one hand against her forehead with a sigh.  Why today?  Why now?

‘Well, it’s too late to do anything about it,’ she thought.  She pulled on a long black coat and hurried back out into the main room.

She saw Jack facing off against Daniel.  But when she entered, all eyes focused on her.  She refused to acknowledge them.  The only person she looked at was Mitch.

“You’re coming later, right?”

At his nod, she gestured towards her former team, “Bring them.  Jess, you coming?”

“Naw, I don’t want to have to sit around and wait.  I’ll come with Mitch.”  Besides, she could sense something was up, and wild horses wouldn’t drag her away right now.

With a sigh, Sam pulled her car keys out of her pocket and tossed them to Jess, who caught them easily, and then hurried towards the door behind the counter.

“Hoss, give me your keys.  I’m driving.”

“Hell, no.  Not with the way you drive!”

Pushing open the door and with Hoss on her heels, they continued to bicker and snipe at each other.  “We’re already late.”  “Last time you drove my truck you got a ticket.”  “Stop being such a baby…”

Despite the tension, the five people remaining in the room all had to smile.  Some things never changed.

\---------------

After the voices died, Jack turned his attention back to Daniel.

“Anything you want to tell me?  Hmm?”

“Jack, what do you want me to say?  How would I have known?”

“So, are you related to Sal or not, Daniel?”  Jess asked again.  Jack turned on her in exasperation.

“Her name isn’t Sal, dammit – it’s Carter!”  Jess’s brows drew together as she geared up to give this man, this stranger, a piece of her mind when Jack drew himself up stiffly and apologized with a soft, “I’m sorry.  That was out of line.”

Not placated, Jess instead retorted with, “Carter?  Kind of a strange name for a girl.”

Surprisingly, it was Teal’C who responded in his low, even tone, “The woman you know as Sally Jackson is known to us as Major Samantha Carter.  She is our colleague and our friend.”

Jack looked at Mitch.  “You knew, didn’t you?” he asked the troubled looking man.

“I knew she was lying about her name.  God, just tell me she’s not AWOL.”

“No, she resigned.  She resigned and she left,” Jack responded.  “We… She needs to come home.”

Jess turned on Jack again in quiet anger.  “She needs to come home?  This is her home.  If she was a friend, where the hell have you all been for two years?  Had better things to do, did you?  And she didn’t even say two words to you while I was in the room,” she sniped, rounding on the three men.  At least one of them, that Daniel, had the decency to look guilty.  Murray’s only look appeared to be impassive.  And Jack’s face had gone stony.

Then, turning accusingly to Mitch, “You knew she was lying about her name?  What the hell, Mitch?  She could have really been in trouble.  You know she’d never talk about herself, you could have forced her hand.  Then we could have helped her.  We’re just lucky these guys showed up and not her ex.  You know, I was always worried she’d been abused.”  Mitch had decided to set up camp with Daniel and looked guilty as well.

“Um, ex?” Daniel got up the nerve to ask.

“Yeah.  The only thing I ever got out of her was that she’d left because of an ex-boyfriend.  Jonas?  No, Jonah.  Oh, why do I even bother?  I’m going to talk to Sal.”  And with that she stalked from the room, using the door Hoss and Sam had used a mere five minutes earlier.

Watching her leave, Jack thought, ‘What does Sam’s dead ex-fiance have to do w-… Aw, hell!’

Feeling the eyes of Teal’C and Daniel on him once again, Jack pushed a hand wearily through his hair.

_ ~Chapter 10~ _

Jess entered the large room, quickly spotting the woman she was looking for.  Sal - no, Sam - was standing with Hoss and two other men off to the left side of the school gymnasium.  Wanting to catch Sam’s attention, but not that of her husband, Jess carefully placed herself in Sam’s sightline, but made no other move toward the four.

It didn’t take long for Sam to spot Jess.  Recognizing Jess’ intent, Sam gave a small nod and then excused herself.  Jess had already slipped back into the hall.  Sam made her way over to her.

“Hi Jess,” Sam said quietly, the worried and knowing look on her face in counterpoint to Jess’ worried and wary look.

Quietly recriminating, Jess asked, “Sal.  Or should I call you Sam now?”

Sam winced and shook her head no.  With a guilty smile she said, “No, I don’t want…”  She trailed off and closed her eyes helplessly.

Jess didn’t say anything for a long time.  “Okay, so Sal doesn’t work.  Sam doesn’t work.  Guess you’ll just be Starlight, then,”  Jess finally said forgivingly.  Sam’s eyes snapped open.

“You’re not angry with me?”

Jess sighed, “Well, I kind of still am.  We’ve been friends for a long time now, and I just found out what your real name is.  That’s not exactly ‘friendly,’ is it.  But I’m sure you had your reasons.  Now you just have to tell me about them.  No more of this close-lipped melancholy shit you’ve been pulling.”  Jess gave the taller woman a push on the shoulder, reminiscent of the one she gave her husband earlier.

Sam quickly pulled the woman into a brief hug.  “I don’t deserve you, Jess.  I’ll explain things later.  But right now I have to…”  She trailed off with a different worried look.

“Relax.  You’re going to do fine!”

“I really don’t think I can do this.  Especially not if they…”  Sam couldn’t even bring herself to finish the sentence.

Jess looked at her friend curiously, “If you’re that worried about them being here, why did you ask Mitch to bring them along?”

“I don’t know.  ‘Cause I’m an idiot?”  Sam rolled her eyes at herself and tried to ignore the fact that her stomach was rolling as well.

From the auditorium a loud voice yelled, “Starlight?  Sal?  Where the hell did you go?”  The voice then turned apologetic as he excused his language to the indignant mothers whose children had been in earshot.

Both Sam and Jess broke into huge smiles.

“I’d better go rescue your husband,” Sam said as she turned toward the auditorium door.

“Better you than me,” Jess called after her.

\---------------

About an hour later, Mitch pulled up in front of the school with the members of SG-1 in tow.  The school parking lot was full of cars, trucks and people.  It looked like the entire town was in attendance, which was pretty much true.

The four men made their way into the school, following a group of giggling teenaged girls.  Jack had to roll his eyes when he realized the giggling stemmed from the googly eyes they were making at Daniel.  It never did take that long.  Knowing, even though he couldn’t tell for sure in the dark evening, that Daniel would be blushing, Jack gave Daniel a nudge with his shoulder and smirked at him when Daniel turned his head.

“Shut up, Jack.”

Still smirking, “I said nothing, Daniel.  Murray, did you hear me say anything?”

“I did not,” deadpanned Teal’C – intentionally or not, who could tell with him?

They entered the school and followed Mitch up to a small table placed in the hallway.  Mitch pulled out his wallet and said, “Four please.”  The people at the table looked curiously at the strangers that were with him, even as they started to protest.

“No, hey Mitch, we’ve got it.  Don’t-”, spluttered O’Neill, echoed by Daniel.

“Hey don’t worry about it.  Least I can do.  Besides, I’ll just tack it onto the cost of your flight,” Mitch said, as he handed the bills over to one of the women manning the table, then turned to enter the school gym.  “Don’t forget to grab your programs,” he called back as he took his own program from a young boy standing at the door.

Daniel, Jack and Teal’C took programs of their own and followed Mitch into the gym, filled with the muted hum of people chatting.  They looked around the room in curiosity as they followed Mitch along the back of the gym where there was a clear path.  The gym had been filled with chairs which were rapidly being taken as more and more people started arriving.  Jack glanced down at the program in his hands.  “5th Annual Talent Show – Fire Hall Fundraiser” was emblazoned, rather ineptly, on the front cover.

Mitch led them over to the far side of the gym, where Jess had already snagged enough chairs for them and was now chatting with the people sitting behind her.  The four men sat facing towards the raised stage that took up most of one of the long walls of the room.  The three members of SG-1 continued to get curious but polite smiles.  Small towns; nothing like them.  Mitch explained to a couple people around them that the three had booked a bush tour with him leaving the next day, and asked what people did for ‘fun’ around here.

“And what the hell, the fundraiser is a good cause, right?” He said, getting chuckles from his friends and neighbours.  Of course, Mitch’s explanation quickly travelled through the crowd so the attention shifted off of the strangers and back to the normal chatter.

Typically, Jack was scanning the audience as Daniel concentrated on reading the program cover to cover.  Daniel grunted and turned towards Jack when suddenly the overhead lights turned off, and the only lights in the room remained focused on the stage.

\---------------

Jack could not * _believe*_ he was sitting in a school auditorium in Alaska, on a small, hard wooden chair at a talent show, of all things.  He sat, slightly slumped down in his chair using his years of military and poker training to keep a polite (he hoped) smile plastered to his face, and the winces to a minimum.  Not that it was all bad.  Some of the stuff he’d seen so far had been okay, and the kids were always cute.  But a * _talent show*_?  He suppressed a groan and clapped politely as another act finished.  He dropped his head back and rolled it from side to side, as if just stretching the kinks from his neck.  When he refocused his attention back on the stage, his mind stuttered to a halt.  ‘Carter?  What the hell was Carter…?’

Daniel wordlessly passed his program over to Jack, open to a page and pointing.  In the dim light Jack could just make out the words ‘Mitch’s Mechanics’ in bold print on the left of the page and then on the right in the middle of a short list of names was ‘Sally Jackson’.  ‘* _Carter?*_ ’ Jack thought again in shock and then pulled himself up in his chair, suddenly interested.  Casting a glace to the end of the row on his left, he was happy to see that Jess now had a video camera in her hand.  Jack gleefully considered the many ways this kind of video could be used as he turned back to the stage.

He watched as a very young man, probably barely out of his teens, rather reluctantly crossed the stage to the other side.  He was followed by a white-haired, older gentlemen who was clearly not in the least nervous, judging by the slight spring in his step.  After him came Sam, who was definitely nervous and trying to hide it.  He saw the small purse of her lips as she blew out a long breath.  Last but not least came Hoss.  With a swagger and a grin of course.  All four wore mechanic coveralls.  The four positioned themselves on the stage, evenly spaced apart and with the older man and Sam a bit forward of the other two.  Hands behind their back, legs slightly apart.  Sam was in a perfect “at ease” stance.  With the lack of ease, Jack corrected to himself taking in the very rigid cast to her shoulders and spine.

The four dropped their heads and Sam closed her eyes, once again breathing calming breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth.  From down near the front of the stage Jack heard someone call, “Sal!”

Sam’s eyes snapped open, and she glanced up at a short blonde woman that Jack could just barely make out over the heads between him and the stage.  Jack couldn’t make out what the woman said, but he heard the people in the front couple of rows chuckle.  When Sam put her head back down her eyes were open and was smiling.  She rolled her shoulders a bit to loosen the tense muscles.

Then the music started.  Jack snorted softly before covering it with a cough.  Daniel’s elbow caught him just below the ribs.  Sam and the three men started dancing in synchronized motion to a ballad with a beat that he had heard once to often during Cassie’s boy band craze.  Jack fixed his gaze on Sam.  He saw when she started to relax, her movements starting to get more fluid and mouthing the words along with the song.  She wasn’t half bad, actually.  Around him, people had started to chuckle softly.  He took some time to study the other dancers.

The pup at the end was clearly not very adept, his brow furrowed in concentration.  But what he lacked in skill he made up for in precision – he had clearly been practicing.  A lot.  Jack suspected the old man had some dancing in his past, even though he probably wasn’t as familiar with this modern stuff.  His movements were confident and showed a kind of natural talent.  Jack’s gaze lingered again on Sam for a while before turning to Hoss.  He was hamming it up to the best of his ability, while still trying to stay in time, with a big shit-eating grin on his face.  Jack watched as he mis-stepped into Carter, and saw the glare she threw at him.  The chuckles around him got louder.

Jack turned to look at Daniel and Teal’C.  Daniel’s mouth was slightly open in surprise, but the corners of his mouth tipped up a bit.  Teal’C had a slight smile on his face, which for him would be considered a full-blown grin to rival the one Jack had on his face right now.

The steps had started out simple and gradually become a little more complicated.  Sam was now grinning openly as well.  The music picked up tempo for the last part of the song, and the four were bopping around the stage, giving it their all.  Even the pup at the end, no doubt encouraged by the gaggle of teenaged girls watching no one but him, had relaxed a bit.  Jack could also see a blonde head bopping around at the foot of the stage.  She must have been their coach.  Jack knew he was going to be chatting with that one.

As the song ended, the auditorium erupted with cheers, stomps, catcalls and applause.  The four joined hands and bowed.  And bowed again.  Straightening up Sam spotted Mitch and Jess and beamed at them, then gazed along the row still grinning at Teal’C and Daniel.  When her gaze alit on Jack and their eyes locked, her eyes skittered off him before returning, her smile now shy.  Not quite sheepish.  Making sure he had her attention, Jack placed his fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle, tossing her a wink at the same time.  Daniel cast him a startled glance before looking back at Sam with a grin, raising his fingers to his mouth and letting out a piercing whistle of his own.

Hoss pulled Sam into a bear hug, which provoked more catcalls, and then Hoss and Sam grabbed the other two into a group hug.  As the applause started to die down, the four took one last bow and then quickly departed the stage to make way for the next act.

_ ~Chapter 11~ _

Following the talent show, a large portion of the adults in the audience continued the fun evening at the local restaurant/bar.  The three men of SG-1 watched from across the room as Sam and the three men of her ‘dance troupe’ were congratulated, slapped on the back, and cheered and jeered in equal measure by their friends.  The one Jack mentally dubbed “the pup”, was sticking close to Sam, not quite sure how to deal with the attention he was getting from several younger women.  Jack watched as Sam rolled her eyes as she looked at Hoss, and then casually shoved the pup towards the girls.  The look on his face was priceless.  Catching him laughing from across the room, Sam quickly winked and smiled at her former CO before turning her attention to someone else that was speaking to her.

Things gradually settled down to regular bar-type activities.  People ordered drinks, danced, stood around chatting.  Jess grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled her over to a table.  It was time to hear about how Sam had ended up in their little corner of the world.  She dragged Hoss along too.  They were joined by Mitch who brought each of them a beer.  Hoss’ attention was focused elsewhere until Sam started talking.  Then his head whipped around as he stared at her, totally blindsided by what she was saying.  After all, he’d missed the revelation about Sam’s true identity.

Sam told her friends as close to the truth that she could.  That she’d been in the USAF working on a highly classified project, that her team (indicating the men at the bar) had been captured and brainwashed and had not known who they really were.  And how, on regaining their memories and returning home, Sam had found it difficult to return to ‘the regularly scheduled program’ as it were.

“So I resigned, started travelling the country, showed up here.  And here I am,” Sam concluded with a sigh, waiting for her friends to pass judgment.

Hoss looked at her intently.  “So – you know how to shoot a gun?  You’ve been in combat situations?”

Biting her lip, Sam mumbled, “Mmhm.”

“Then why do you suck so large at Splinter Cell?” he questioned, breaking into a smile.

Sam dropped her head into her hands and started to laugh, shaking her head in disbelief.  Leave it to Hoss.  Jess and Mitch started chuckling as well.  Jess leaned over and gave Hoss a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s that for?” he asked smiling.

“For being an idiot.  I love you.  Now get lost,” nodding towards Mitch, “And take that one with you.”

\---------------

Once the men were out of earshot, Jess turned back to Sam and asked quietly.  “So, Jack was Jonah?”

Sam knew that she shouldn’t have been surprised, but her brow furrowed all the same.  She had hoped Jess wouldn’t put the two together.

Seeing the look Jess continued, falling back on the name she was familiar with.  “Come on Sal.  The only thing I’ve been able to pry out of you for the last two years is that you left because of a guy named Jonah.  And then you barely spoke for three days after that.  Now you tell us that you left because you’d been brainwashed and didn’t know who you were.  So I’m guessing they didn’t either and that one of them thought they were a guy named Jonah.  And judging from how pissed off he’s been since he showed up…”

Sam sighed again.  Throwing a glance towards O’Neill, who was watching her, again, she acknowledged the truth with a small nod of her head.

“So?  What’s the connection?  Why did that make you leave?

Sam was so quiet for so long, Jess didn’t think she was going to answer when Sam finally responded in a dejected tone, “There were… feelings.”

Jess’ brow furrowed, still not understanding.

Sam looked up at her, trying but not quite succeeding in tamping down the emotions that had gotten the best of her two years ago.

“We, I, the feelings are…” Sam stopped and started again with a sigh, “There are regulations.  They deal with fraternization.  It means I can’t, we couldn’t… When we didn’t know who we were, we got very close to – we never…”  She trailed off as Jess covered her hand with one of her own.

“I get it, you don’t need to say it.”

Sam smiled a watery smile. “God, I’m a babbling idiot.”

“Yup.” Jess defused the situation with her typical nonchalance.  “Okay, so, I’m still not exactly sure why you left.  I mean, if you resigned, then those regulations wouldn’t matter anymore, right?”

Sam gave a short laugh, “I don’t even know if he…” She drew herself up short, “No, that’s not all of it.  I just couldn’t get outside of my head, Jess.  I was happy to be back, but at the same time I – well, I didn’t know who I was anymore.  All the neat little boxes in my mind had been shuffled up, rearranged, unpacked.  Nothing was how it’s supposed to be.  I needed to get away.  Does that make any sense?”

“Did it help?”

“Yes.  It really did.”

“Then it makes sense.”  Jess hesitated before asking, “Are you going to leave?”

“I don’t know.  I really don’t.  I mean, by this time tomorrow, everyone’s going to know my ‘secret identity,’” Sam chuckled.

“True.  The joys of small town living.  I guess no one’s going to win the pool.”

“Pool?  You mean, people have been betting on why I’m here?” Sam asked, stunned, and shook her head in disbelief.

_ ~Chapter 12~ _

Sam had started out earlier in the evening at the opposite end of the bar from the men of SG-1.  But with the gradual ebb and flow of people in and around the bar, she found herself standing next to her former CO, Colonel Jack O’Neill.  On his other side stood Teal’C.  Daniel was in a booth on the far side of the room chatting with a petite blonde dynamo, and occasional dance coach.  Sam smiled.  It never took women very long to be smitten with the soft-spoken, polite archaeologist.

Sam and Jack stood next to each other in silence, not quite sure how to cut the ice between them.  Jack stood facing the room while Sam was facing the bar, staring into the glass in her hands, slowly swirling the contents around.  How long they stood like that, neither would have been able to say.

Suddenly Jack and Sam tensed.  Jack in response to a tightening in his gut and prickling at the base of his neck.  Sam either reacting instinctively to Jack or from some other instinct of her own.  Both of them sought out the source of their discomfort, Jack scanning the room in front of him, Sam using the mirrored bar in front of her.  Sam realized the problem an instant before Jack did.

Jack’s gaze landed on the woman staring at him from across the room.  High heels, long legs, short skirt, curves in all the right places, including the smile on her face.  But it didn’t quite help disguise the feral look in her eyes.  Jack knew when he was being hunted.

Sam also knew what the problem was.  “Teal’C.” Pitching her voice low she sent a pointed warning to the large man and then glanced quickly up at Jack.

So quietly he could barely hear her, she muttered, “Just follow my lead, sir.”  Sam picked up her drink in one hand and turned, using her other hand to casually drape Jack’s arm over her left shoulder as she stepped into his embrace, her right side moved across to cover his chest.  Sam’s blue eyes were cool as she watched the other woman cross the room.

Jack’s breath caught in his throat when Sam moved against him.  In an effort to distract himself, he looked around the bar, which was suddenly a fair bit quieter.  The men in the room that weren’t attached were all suddenly incredibly interested in the hockey game, but without the same enthusiasm as before.  He noted with a certain amount of interest that all of the women in the bar were making their attachments quite clear.  For some reason, the thought of elephants protecting their calves flashed through his mind and Jack smirked quickly to himself before realizing that the leggy woman was now standing in from of him and Sam.  The woman gave him an up and down once over and Jack was unreasonably happy that Sam had placed herself in the middle.

The woman seemed to size up the situation.

“Sal.”

“Karen.”

Smiling at Jack while still addressing Sam, the woman almost purred, “Going to introduce me to your new friend, Sal?”

“Nope,” Sam replied curtly, taking a sip of her drink.

The woman, Karen, said cattily, “Now Sal, you have Mitch all to yourself, and for some reason you and Jess seem to want to share Eric.  What do you need a third man for?  Or do I need to ask?”

Jack felt Sam’s shoulder muscles tighten and knew she was trying to stop herself from clenching her fists.  But Sam managed to keep her voice light when she responded casually, “Well, sometimes you just can’t have enough good men.  But I’m sure you know all about that.”

Jess and Hoss started to chuckle from their position further along the bar, turning quickly away when Karen sent a scathing look in their direction.  Apparently deciding that getting at Jack would be too much effort, Karen turned her attention to Teal’C.

“Are you laying claim to this one too, Sal?” she muttered before smiling at Teal’C.  “Hi, I’m Karen.  And you are…?”

“I am unavailable,” Teal’C responded in his customary impassive tone, which in this case only added an extra sting to the simple words spoken.

Karen’s smile froze on her face and then fell.  Sam muffled her snort of laughter by turning her face into Jack’s arm still draped over her shoulder and pretending she was coughing.  Jess and Hoss were laughing openly.  A ripple of quiet laughter made its way through the room.  Karen’s face started to burn, quickly betraying her calculated arrogance.  She shot a venomous look at Teal’C and stalked from the room, to an anticlimactic exit, as the fire door wouldn’t slam on her way out.  As soon as the door clicked closed the whole bar seemed to erupt in laughter.  Jess made her way over to Teal’C and shook his hand.

“Thanks Murray.  Thank you so much!”  Turning to Sam, who was still laughing into O’Neill’s arm, Jess questioned with a grin, “Can we keep him?”

Sam just shook her head in vague amazement as she handed Jack her glass before pulling away from him and hugging Teal’C.  When she moved away Teal’C inclined his head in acknowledgement, although the slightly puzzled look on his face indicated that he wasn’t really sure what all of the fuss was about.  Sam explained, “That woman is nothing but trouble.  She’s a real snake in the grass.”

Stepping away from Teal’C, she moved level with O’Neill so that his new admirers crowding around could thank Teal’C.  As Sam stepped closer to Jack, he absently put his arm back over her shoulder as he handed her back her drink.

“Is she really that bad?”

Sam moved her head close to his to answer so that no one but Jack would hear her.

“Think ‘Hathor.’”

Now it was Jack’s turn to try to hide his laughter, his arm tightening around Sam’s shoulder and ducking his head.  Sam started laughing as well.

Making his way over to the pair with his adoring dance coach trailing behind him, Daniel gave the pair a confused look.  “Jack, what’s so funny?  Sam?  Jack?”

\---------------

The men sat in a booth alternately watching the hockey game and the women who were on the dance floor.

“Hello?  See that nice man at the other end of the rink. Ya, that one in red - aim at him!” Jack yelled, and gestured at the TV.

“Aw, man!” Hoss, Mitch and Jack chorused in unison at a missed goal.  Teal’C, although interested in the outcome of the Tau’ri battle being shown, did not find it necessary to voice his displeasure.  Daniel sat slightly slumped in one corner of the booth, muttering to himself in one of his many foreign languages, having consumed just a little bit too much beer.  Jack really hoped that he was sticking to a local language, that is, anything that was ‘not Goa’uld.’

The period ended, and as the commentators started talking, Hoss turned to Jack and started in on yet another set of questions.  The kind that any kid that had ever played soldier when they were younger wanted to know.

“What do you do?”

“Classified.”

“Where do you go?”

“Classified.”

“Do you shoot people?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of gun do you use?”

“P-90.”

“Do you use grenades and stuff?”

“Sometimes, but usually Carter takes care of things with C4.”

“Seriously?  * _Sal_?*”

“Yup.”

“Wow.  I mean, I just can’t picture her blowing stuff up.” He gestured with a hand at the tall blonde woman self-consciously dancing around with Jess and the dance coach.  Jack glanced towards Sam just in time to see her top ride up slightly as she danced, revealing a sliver of her pale torso.  Jack fought to keep his hiss of breath quiet and forced his eyes back to the man across from him.  He took a gulp from his beer bottle.

“She does it well.  She’s pulled my ass out of the fire many times.” Jack couldn’t keep the note of pride out of his voice.

“Major Carter is indeed a formidable warrior,” Teal’C confirmed.

“Huh,” was Hoss’ only response.

Mitch, however, turned towards O’Neill.  “I believe it.  She’s one of the most competent people I’ve ever met.  Smart too.”

“Oh, I’m sure you have noooo idea.” Jack grinned.

Mitch gave Jack a suspicious look. “What else I should know about?”

“Such as?”

Mitch fixed Jack with a flat stare and said, “Surprise me.”

“Can’t imagine she mentioned her Ph.D. in Astrophysics.”

Mitch was stunned into brief silence.  Jack could see him assimilating the information, bouncing it around in his head.  Then Mitch just let out a low whistle.

Hoss, on the other hand, didn’t realize the implications. “What the hell is that about?”

Jack looked back at the lanky blonde spinning around the dance floor.

“Starlight.”

_ ~Chapter 13~ _

Jack awoke to the muffled sound of gunfire.  Quickly looking around, he took in the surroundings of an unfamiliar bedroom.  His brain began a rapid-fire process.  ‘Not home.  Not on base.  Not off-world.  What’s left?  Oh, right.  Alaska.  Why is there gunfire in Alaska?’  He sat up and looked at the clock.  ‘0300.  Alaska.  Gunfire.  Right.’  Then he saw Teal’C sitting in a corner of the room, deeply engaged in Kel-no-reem.  ‘Okay, so nothing to worry about then,’ Jack thought.  Still, he pushed off of the bed, pulled on a sweatshirt, and followed the noise.

He wandered down the hall towards a room that had flickering light coming from it.  When Jack had gone to bed, the room had contained a sleeping Daniel.  Now it contained a sleeping (and softly snoring) Daniel and a cross-legged Sam on the floor in front of a TV.

“Sam?” Jack questioned softly, confused and sleepy.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Um, I guess, if you’re responsible for the sound of gunfire.  What are you doing?”  He moved further into the room and stopped as he stared at the TV.  “Are you playing a video game?”

Sam flashed him a quick smile.  “Yup.  I couldn’t sleep.  So I thought I’d beat all of Hoss’ high scores on these games.  And since Daniel can sleep through just about anything, I didn’t think he’d mind.”

Jack moved over and sat beside her on the floor.  “Since when do you play video games?”  Looking at the score on the screen, he let out a soft whistle.  “Since when did you get * _good*_ at video games?”

“Just because I don’t play now doesn’t mean I’ve never played before.  Or that I’m not good at it.  I do have an older brother, remember?  I used to play against him and his friends.  Then I discovered that it was much more fun to pull the game cartridges apart and look at the insides.  Do a little reprogramming.  They were really toast after that.”  She chuckled softly with a smirk on her face.

Jack just sat there stunned into silence.  He watched as she calmly decimated yet another ‘bad guy,’ and realized just how much he missed having her fighting by his side.  He hadn’t really thought of it until then, even when he was talking with Mitch and Hoss at the bar.  How calm she was under pressure.  Got the job done.  Watched his six.  How he could almost see her mind working as she calculated the amount and position needed for C4 or claymores to have maximum effect.

Wanting, needing, something to keep him busy, Jack picked up the other controller and turned it over idly in his hands.  He started watching the screen and absently moved the controls as if he was playing the game, not really surprised that everything that he would have been doing if he was really playing was being acted out on the screen.  Sam glanced over at him, wondering why he’d been quiet for so long and saw his rapt expression and the controller in his hand.  She abruptly changed the character’s course and out of the corner of her eye saw him scowl, at the screen and then at her.  She grinned and moved the character into an alley before hitting pause and holding out her controller to him.

“What?” he muttered.

“Do you * _actually*_ want to play?”

“No, I was just-”

“Just making sure I was doing things right?”

“No, well, no.  Just seeing if you’d do what I do,” he grumbled.

“Considering how much we worked together in the field, I’m pretty sure I would, sir.”

“It’s not ‘sir’ anymore, though, is it?”

Mentally cursing herself for getting herself into this slippery subject, Sam responded with a barely audible, “No.  I guess not.”

“Are you going to tell me why you left?”

Sam shrugged.  “It’s hard for me to explain.”

“But it has to do with our time on P3R-118, doesn’t it?  Daniel told me that before you left, you called him Karlan.”

“I did?”  Sam seemed genuinely startled by that revelation.

“Apparently.  Why didn’t you talk to us?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t-” Jack raised his voice and then checked himself, remembering that Daniel was still in the room.  “You don’t know?”

Now it was Sam’s turn to keep from raising her voice. “I couldn’t even explain it to myself.  How could I explain it to you?  I was just so… I can’t even explain it now!”

“Try,” he pushed.

Sam snapped out, “I needed to figure out who I was.  What I was * _doing*_ with my life.  Why the Air Force?  Was it because of my dad?  Why not a scientist, like the ‘other Sam’?  Everything that I still remembered and felt after being Thera.  Why didn’t my thoughts of her just go away?  The rest of you, you just – you went back to normal.  You were just * _you*_ and...”  Sam trailed away with a sigh, pushing a hand angrily through her hair.

Jack noticed the shift; Sam was no longer talking about the team, but wouldn’t acknowledge the undercurrent in her words.

“We all struggled, Sam.  You know that.”  He avoided looking at her, when she turned her face towards him.  She didn’t need his burden piled onto the one she already carried for herself.

They sat in silence for a while longer before Jack asked, “So, did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yes.”

“Really?  I’m not so sure.  Can you discover who you are when aren’t even using your own name?  Is Sally Jackson truly Samantha Carter?”

Sam’s body stiffened in reaction.  She stared at him in silence and he watched her.  She broke the gaze, her eyes overly bright, looking back at the video game character still motionless on the TV.

Jack stood up and unthinkingly brushed a hand over Sam’s head.

“I’ll tell you what I know.  You are always who you’re going to be, whether you are Sam, or Thera, or Sal.  You’re brave.  You’re smart.  You’re funny.  You love to help people.  You light up any room you’re in.  None of that has ever changed.”

Sam’s head sank to her pulled-up knees as Jack left the room.

\---------------

Mitch wandered into the diner kitchen at about 5:00 a.m., and didn’t find Sal waiting for him with his customary coffee.  This was unusual, because she was always up earlier than he was.  In fact there were some days she didn’t seem to sleep at all.  This usually went hand in hand with her forgetting to eat anything.

He found her in the den wrapped in Daniel’s arms.

\---------------

Daniel had woken up to find Sam sitting on the floor with her head tipped back against the sofa he was sleeping on, her eyes open but staring blankly at the ceiling.  He put a hand on her forehead and with his thumb stroked at the wrinkled ‘vee’ between her eyebrows, trying to soothe away the tension.  His other hand squeezed Sam’s shoulder, a silent invitation for her to join him.  After a brief hesitation, Sam pushed herself up onto the couch and lay down spooned up next to Daniel.

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Why are you apologizing, Daniel?  I should be the one apologizing to you.”

“I’m the one that found you.  We shouldn’t have come.”

Sam, still uncertain about her own feelings on that issue, couldn’t reassure him.  The closest she could get was a quiet admission, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Sam.”

_ ~Chapter 14~ _

Samantha Carter circled the small plane, going through the familiar routine of a pre-flight check.  She climbed inside to check the dials and gauges, grateful for the familiarity that was distracting her.  Mitch had insisted, over her protests, that instead of just flying her former teammates out to camp for a week, that she join them.

Sam’s protests that the diner was busier than ever were met with the argument that it was only because the rumour of her former life had spread around town.  Curiosity was bringing the people in, and if she wasn’t there for them to gawk at, Jessie would be more than able to handle the diner on her own.

The argument that she was needed down at the hangar was dismissed as being unnecessary.  It was the end of the season, so another week before she was there to help look over the planes before the weather grounded them wouldn’t matter one way or the other.

The supply run Sam had returned from the day before cut that suggestion off before it could even be voiced.

Sam had been neatly painted into a corner.  If she hadn’t been so miffed about that, she would have been quite impressed with Mitch.

She looked out with a small sigh as she watched the three men that had once been such a large part of her life approach the plane, followed by her conniving boss who had taken it upon himself to drive them down to the hangar.  The three men climbed quickly into the aircraft, the supplies and bags that they’d need for the week already stowed in the back.  The colonel took the co-pilot’s seat next to Sam, leaving the seats in the back for Daniel and Teal’C.

Mitch was joined on the ground by Hoss.  Sam flashed him a ‘good-to-go’ sign and Hoss signalled back an ‘all clear.’  Sam taxied the plane out to the runway.  The plane started to speed down the flat tarmac before the nose of the plane rose towards the sky, the wheels of the plane no longer tethered to the ground below.  Sam circled the hangar once before lining up the plane in the right direction and allowing it to rise even further in the air.

The drone of the airplane was the only sound for quite a long time as the four occupants sat in quiet contemplation, gazing with varying levels of awareness of the scenery stretching out below them.

The silence was broken by O’Neill clearing his throat.  “So, Carter,” he said, his peripheral vision catching her stiffen at the form of address she hadn’t heard in so long.  Pushing on, he continued, “What’s all this talk about a ‘Gap’?”

For a while, there was no response from Sam.  O’Neill was trying to think of what his reaction to this should be, when she leaned forward and picked up the radio.

“Starlight to Hoss, come in Hoss.  Over.”

After a pause, a familiar voice crackled through the speaker. “This is Hoss.  You’re going in, aren’t you?  Over.”

“10-4.  Over.”

“Call when you’re through.  Over.”

“10-4.  Over and out.”

“Stay safe.  Over and out.”

Returning the radio to its position, Sam banked the plane to the left.

\---------------

The Gap was just that: a gap in a series of cliffs and rocks that jutted up sharply into the air.  It formed a very effective wind tunnel.  However, there were also enough gullies and channels on either side that the wind was forced through from several directions, making it impossible to know when and where the next gust was coming from.  It was every adrenaline junkie’s best, and worst, dream, and Jack knew from experience that people did not become Air Force pilots if their idea of excitement was a walk in the park.

Jack held his breath as Sam forced the small plane to go where she willed it, and not crashing into the rocks on either side.  Daniel had screwed his eyes closed less than a minute after this ordeal had started.  Even Teal’C, death glider pilot of great renown, seemed to have an uncharacteristically firm hold on the armrests of his chair.

The pilot in O’Neill marvelled at Sam’s flying ability, the rational part cursed that he had made the suggestion in the first place, and his own personal adrenaline junkie was a bit sulky that it wouldn’t be able to try this for itself.

Suddenly the plane dropped and Daniel gasped.  Jack snapped out a warning, “Daniel!” not wanting Sam to get thrown off.

“Sir!  It’s okay, sir,” Sam interrupted before anyone said anything that really would break her concentration. “Just another minute, Daniel, I promise.”  Daniel responded with a small, ill-sounding groan.

As suddenly as it had started, the Gap ended and they were once again flying over relatively flat terrain.  Jack relaxed back in his seat and looked at his former second-in-command, and thought to himself that the smile that bloomed across her face was as bright as the dawn.

_ ~Chapter 15~ _

It was surprising how quickly the four of them slipped back into their old routine.  Being on this campout was similar to an extended off-world trip.  They even kept regular watches, out of habit rather than necessity.  The only thing missing was the constant threat of attack from the Goa’uld, unless there happened to be a mothership lurking above the planet.  Although if that was the case, they probably would have known by now.  The Goa’uld weren’t exactly known for their subtlety.

Unlike an off-world trip, however, was the lack of direction.  They had no mission agenda, no cultures to learn about, no ruins to explore.  They spent their days playing cards or chess, taking long hikes, listening to music, and just generally admiring the beauty of the land around them.

Although Sam was originally a bit withdrawn, she slowly started to let down some of the barriers around her.  All three of the men noticed differences between the woman with them now and the Major Carter that had been their companion.  However, they were unable to tell whether the changes that they noticed were just because she was no longer bound by the strict code of conduct and expected behaviour of an Air Force officer.  All three knew regret that they had never had a chance to know ‘Samantha Carter’ before she had left them, so long ago.

The new Samantha Carter was more relaxed.  Quicker to joke.  Had a cutting sense of humour and a lighter turn of phrase.  She didn’t seem to take everything quite as seriously.  And the more comfortable she became with the three men, the more apparent this became.

For his part, Jack felt the pull of her increasing with each new revelation of Sam’s character.  For her part, Sam had relaxed around him.  An initial period of wariness, from both of them, had ended when he blindsided her with the punch line of a joke.  The peal of laughter that sprang from her had Jack grinning like an idiot for making her so happy.  After that, it just seemed natural to keep laughing instead of living on the defensive.

Not being on the defensive also meant that neither of them pulled away from each other, as if burnt, at occasional physical contact as they had in the past.  Although they still shied away from anything that could be considered a discussion of relationships, they sought each other out and were content to spend their time slightly leaning against each other around the campfire with Teal’C and Daniel, or walking silently out to explore the lakes around the camp.  If they occasionally returned holding hands, as if unaware, Daniel and Teal’C certainly weren’t going to bring it to their attention.  For Daniel, it also served to alleviate the guilt he had felt for interfering with Sam’s new life.

Unfortunately, the idyll did not last.  As the week that they were to be away drew to a close, Sam seemed to retreat into herself.  She still joined the three of them in various activities, but she was just as likely to go for a walk on her own as she was with O’Neill.  When she walked alone, she returned with worry lines marring her forehead.  Jack was reluctant to speak with her about the melancholy mood she was in, the comfort that had settled between them still too squeaky new for him to trust himself to speak with her about it.

The last night found the four of them sitting around the fire.  Although it was growing late, no one seemed to be willing to be the first to head into the tent.  Eventually, the stalemate had to be broken, and Teal’C was the first to rise to his feet.  Jack also stood and looked questioningly at Sam, who remained seated.

She looked up into his concerned eyes.  “I just want to stay out here a bit longer, okay?” trying to communicate her need to him without saying it aloud.

Jack watched her awhile longer and then decided not to push.  “Don’t stay up too late though.  We’re counting on you to get us home in one piece tomorrow.”

With a small grin, Sam quipped, “Understood, sir.”

Teal’C and Jack moved toward the tent.  Just as they reached the entrance, Jack paused as if suddenly thinking of something, “Um, Carter, you’re not taking us back through the Gap, are you?”

Giving him a questioning smile, Sam said, “I wasn’t planning on it.  Why, did you want to…?”

Even as Daniel paled, O’Neill interrupted with, “Nope.  But if you’d said yes, I was going to have to figure out a way to trap you in your sleeping bag.”

With a giggle and a resigned shake of her head, Sam didn’t need any other response to the ridiculous plan.  She watched as he winked at her before lifting the tent flap and entering behind Teal’C.

\---------------

Sam and Daniel spent Daniel’s watch in silence, content just to spend the time with each other.  Very close to the time that Teal’C would be arrive to take over for the second watch, Daniel said softly, “You’re not coming back with us, are you?”  To his credit, there was no accusation in his voice.

Sam pulled her gaze away from the night sky she had been staring at out of habit.  She didn’t need to focus on the stars when the people that she was worried about being among them were with her.

“No,” she responded without hesitation, although she couldn’t hide the sadness that crept into her simple answer.

After another long silence, Daniel asked, “Does Jack know?”

This time the sadness wasn’t concealed at all and Daniel’s heart clenched at the tone.  “We haven’t talked about it, but I think he knows.  On some level, anyway.”

“I believe you are correct, Samantha Carter.”  Daniel and Sam both started at Teal’C’s quiet voice, unaware that he had approached the fire.  “However, I think that he is unwilling to acknowledge this eventuality.”

Daniel, ever the communicator, asked another question. “Why?”

“I’ve made a life for myself here, Daniel.  I didn’t plan to, but I did.  And it’s been a good life.  I’ve been happy.”

“Actually, I meant why haven’t you and Jack spoken about this?  You know he wants you to come home.  We all want you to come home.”

“I can’t, Daniel.  I don’t know who I’d be if I went back.”

Daniel opened his mouth to continue his interrogation, but was stopped by a small shake of Teal’C’s head.  Realizing that he was close to putting Sam on the defensive, Daniel sighed and rose from his place by the fire.  Pulling Sam to her feet by the hands, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, hoping to communicate to her everything that was too difficult to voice aloud.  Sam clung to him just as tightly.  However long they stood there together, it didn’t seem like it was long enough.  How could it be?  Eventually, they broke apart, and Daniel moved across to the tent, leaving Sam standing by the fire with Teal’C sitting to her side.

Sam’s knees felt like they would buckle, so she shakily lowered herself to sit beside the large man.

Sam was reluctant to voice the question weighing on her, but knew she must.  “He’s going to hate me, isn’t he?”

Teal’C considered his response for several minutes as he also pondered to which ‘he’ she was referring, before deciding that his answer could apply, regardless.  “Although the distinction is difficult to perceive, it is the decision that will be hated, not the person who made it, very much like when you first left us, Samantha Carter.  In time, I believe that this realization will become apparent.  Unfortunately, before that happens, I fear that things will be quite unpleasant.”

“I’m sorry, Teal’C.”

“If you are being true to yourself, then there is nothing for you to apologize for.”

Teal’C, having perfected the art of silence, placed a comforting hand on Sam’s and said no more, leaving her to her thoughts.

\---------------

Hearing the tent flap rustle behind her, Sam’s heart plunged into her stomach.  Teal’C gave her hand one last reassuring squeeze before unfolding himself and rising into the night.

With a small bow of his head he said, “I will see you in the morning, Samantha Carter.”

The seat he vacated was promptly occupied by Jack O’Neill.

Sensing the tension hovering in the air, Jack did what he always did.  Joked.  “So, pulling another all-nighter, I see.”

More from long-standing practice than from mirth, Sam tried to smile, her effort falling quite flat.  After her half-hearted effort, Jack focused on the fire crackling in front of them.  Lost in his own, dare he say, thoughts, he was startled by the sudden movement from the woman sitting at his side.  Sam had turned towards him and placed one hand behind his head, pulling him towards her.  The question on his lips died as she thrust her tongue between them and started running her tongue against his.

Jack’s hands came up and grasped her shoulders, his mind torn between pulling her closer and pushing her away.  Not even during this last week had they ever kissed.  Unable to choose the best action, he kept his hands on her shoulders even as she made the decision for him, moving herself closer and straddling his lap, causing him to suck in a quick breath at the unexpected contact.

Her teeth nipped at his lips and her hands jittered across his shoulders, and along his neck and arms, as if she was unsure where she wanted to touch him first.  Moving her mouth from him and down over his neck, Jack gasped.  “Carter,” he exclaimed as quietly as he could.

At this, all of her movement stopped.  ‘No,’ Jack corrected himself, ‘all of the good movement stopped,’ as her body shuddered involuntarily at the sudden cessation of her movements.

“Carter?” he questioned.  Sam tried to move off his lap, but Jack still had a hold on her shoulders and he gripped her tighter.  “What’s wrong?  Sam?”

Sam shook her head, her face practically against his chest so that he couldn’t see her expression.  He was suddenly sure that she was crying.  All inappropriate thoughts left him as his immediate concern changed to making sure she was okay.  He moved his hands from the grip on her shoulders, to across the shoulder blades and pulled her into a hug, one of his hands cradling the nape of her neck.  Instinctively he started rocking her in his arms, muttering ‘it’s okay’s and ‘you’re all right’s.  Gradually he realized that she was whispering something herself, and quieted so that he could hear her.

“No names.  Please, no names.  Please.  I want you so much.  No names,” she whispered desperately.

“Sam,” he started but at this, another tremor flashed through her body and she tried to pull away from him, struggling as he tried to keep her still.  Without a conscious thought to what he was doing, he pulled her tighter against him and caught her earlobe between his teeth.  Sam sucked in a breath as her hips instinctively thrust against him.

Figuring that he had her attention now, he quietly asked, “What’s going on, S-,” stopping himself from saying her name as she tensed again in his arms.

So low he could barely hear her, she answered, “I want you.  I have for so long.  But no names, I can’t, I don’t… please!”

Jack loosened his grip from her shoulders, putting as much distance as he could between them, a difficult task with her straddling him and her hands on his upper arms.  He put a hand under her chin and made her look at him.

“I - I can’t.”  Letting out a short, entirely humourless laugh, he continued, “Damn, I’ve waited so long to hear you say you want me, but I can’t keep this anonymous with you.  I don’t want to be anonymous with you.”

With a sob, Sam forced herself from Jack’s lap and moved to the other side of the fire.  Jack stood and moved to follow her.  She backed away from him.

“Leave me alone.”

“You know I can’t do that.  I’m worried about you, Ca-, Sa-.”  He broke off in exasperation and growled in his frustration.  “How can we do this if you won’t let me call you anything?”

Sam sank back down in despair and hugged her knees to her chest, rocking herself this time.  She gradually calmed herself down.  “I’m so sorry.  I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Jack moved over and sat down beside her, their sides touching.  “Actually, that’s not the part I had a problem with.  I quite enjoyed that,” he said softly.

Sam stilled and she blew a short breath of air from her nose, as she grinned ruefully.  “I noticed.”

Jack’s smile looked more like a grimace, but he managed a short laugh.  “Thanks.”  He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, resting his head on top of hers.  They sat there for a long time.  Finally Sam rose, Jack standing with her.

“I should probably get some sleep,” she explained.  Jack nodded his agreement and walked her over to the tent.  She paused and then moved against him once more, this time without the urgency of before.  Jack silently cursed himself for his shoddy self-preservation instincts as his arms pulled her closer, tucking her familiarly against him, her face curved into his neck.  She moved her head and kissed the pulse point before tipping her face up to look at him.  Jack moved his mouth gently over hers, sliding his tongue over her lips until she opened to him.

Jack heard Sam hum in pleasure as their tongues battled with each other.  Gradually, he pulled his mouth from her, but kept his arms around her until she shifted in his grasp.  Then he ordered his arms to release her and watched as she moved into the tent.

Jack walked back to the fire, running his hands through his silver hair and over his face.  God, it was going to be a long night.  He spent it cursing the directions on his moral compass.

_ ~Chapter 16~ _

A very subdued group sat in the diner.  Now that they had returned from their week-long vacation, the men of SG-1 were due to fly out later that night.  Right now, they were just waiting for a transport to come through town to give them a lift back to the base they were flying out of.

Mitch and Jess had taken one look at the faces of the four people on their return and decided that they didn’t need to ask the question that had preyed on their minds all week: “Was Sal going to leave?”  Going by the looks on the faces of Daniel and Sal, they had their answer.  Jess felt guilty for feeling so happy that her friend was staying, when it was clearly making others so unhappy.

The door opened and admitted a young Air Force Lieutenant.  O’Neill stood from the table and said, “Okay, that’s our cue.”

There was a flurry of handshaking and some hugging as Daniel, Teal’C and O’Neill said goodbye to Mitch, Jess and Hoss.  Sam stood back and slightly turned away, her body language indicating that if she didn’t see what was going on, then it couldn’t really be happening.  But soon enough, she could deny no longer.  Teal’C appeared before her and her gaze, of her own volition travelled to his face.  He said gravely, “It has been an honour to see you again, Samantha Carter,” before he grasped her forearm and pulled her toward him combining the formal Jaffa handclasp with a hug.  As he moved away to make room for Daniel, he nodded at her with a small smile.

Daniel’s hug today was gentle, and he kissed her softly on the cheek.  “Keep in touch this time, okay?  We know where you are now.  Maybe we can go on vacation again sometime?”  Sam could only nod, not trusting her voice, and then Daniel moved away.  One more to go.

Her gaze moved to Jack before he even moved toward her, and then suddenly she was in his fierce grasp, his head tilted into her neck.  She shut her eyes tight, willing the tears to stay behind the lids.  She felt Jack press his lips against her neck before he raised his mouth to her ear and said softly, “Come with us.  Come home.  Please.”  Her tightening of the embrace was his answer.  Once again, he had to order his arms to release her.  He stepped back and took a long look at her face before turning and leading the way out the door.

Sam dropped her head and ran a hand across her forehead.  Damn, headache.  Jess moved over to her and put a hand on Sam’s back.  “Sal, are you okay?”  Sam straightened and pulled on a face that she hadn’t used for a very long time.  It was her impassive Major-Carter-I-can’t-believe-you-thought-that-would-work face, useful with incompetent lab techs and over-the-top Goa’uld.  Not even Hoss could think of a joke to counter that face.

“I’m fine.  Just fine.”

_ ~Chapter 17~ _

Daniel had feared that, on their return to the SGC, Jack would turn back into the ogre he had been when Sam had left.  To his surprise, and gradually growing fear, Jack did not.  Instead, he easily went back to off-world missions without complaint.  Even the diplomatic ones.  And the ones where Daniel spent a lot of time translating writing on rocks.  He even got his paperwork done on time.  It was frightening, really.

In the months since they’d left Alaska, there had been no word from Sam.  Daniel had to admit that he wasn’t really surprised about that.  Sam had been pulling away from them the last night of the vacation.  Although he wasn’t exactly sure about what had gone on between Sam and Jack.  Daniel had hoped that Jack had come close to changing her mind, but Jack refused to talk about it.

There had been no word from Jess, Hoss or Mitch either.  Daniel had given them his personal e-mail address and asked them to keep in touch.  He had been very hopeful that they would and keep him up-to-date on how Sam was, but so far the only thing he had received had been a couple of incredibly off-colour jokes sent by Hoss.

Daniel sighed and closed the text before him, which he hadn’t been paying attention to anyway.  It was just about time for today’s briefing.  He joined Jack, Teal’C and Ferretti as they waited for General Hammond to join them.  As the General came into the room, Jack and Ferretti moved to stand, but they were waved back into their chairs and General Hammond took his seat at the head of the table.

“So, where are you sending us this time Mr. Wizard, General, sir?” Jack joked, hoping that today was a ‘get away with murder’ day.

To his good luck, the General actually cracked a smile at that before saying,  “Actually, Jack, the only person I’m sending anywhere is Major Ferretti.”

At the glances of confusion around the table, the General continued to explain.  “Major Ferretti did you three a big favour a few years back by agreeing to give up command of an SG unit and become the second-in-command of SG-1.  I have been discussing this with the Joint Chiefs and they, and I, feel that it is only appropriate that Major Ferretti be promoted to the rank of Colonel and made a leader of an SG team.”

At Ferretti’s look of shock, which was quickly replaced by a huge grin, General Hammond joked, “I also tried to get you danger pay for the work you did with Colonel O’Neill, but there was no such luck, I’m afraid.”

O’Neill, Teal’C and Daniel all congratulated and teased Ferretti on his advancement.  After the impromptu celebration had settled, although Ferretti’s grin remained, O’Neill’s grin faded a bit as he looked at General Hammond.

“So, who’s going to be the fourth on SG-1?”  He questioned Hammond, his mind churning through all the annoyances a new team member caused.  Despite their previous training, he always had to train them to stay out of the line of fire, to get it drilled into their heads that they * _did*_ , in fact, need to think for themselves and not just follow orders, but when they had to follow orders.  And why did it take so long for new recruits to understand his sense of humour?  Had they never heard of sarcasm before?

“* _Doctor*_ Samantha Carter, reporting for duty, sirs,” came the answer from behind him.  Only General Hammond was sitting in the right place to see the look on Jack’s face.  What he saw there made it hard to keep a smile off his face.

Jack turned slowly in his chair to look at the woman behind him.  Her hair was once again regulation length, but she was dressed in black pants and a white buttoned shirt – not having had the time, or the inclination yet, to find a pair of BDUs.

Daniel’s gaze bounced back and forth between Sam and Jack, waiting for Jack to get up to greet Sam.  When it finally sunk in that Jack was apparently rooted to the spot, Daniel thought, “To hell with it!” and pushed away from the briefing room table, bounding across the room and enveloping Sam in his arms.  As the two friends hugged each other, Teal’C rose from the table.  Catching Sam’s eye, he inclined his head with a smile.  She grinned back at him, still embracing Daniel.

She looked at the Colonel, who was still in his chair with one of the largest grins on his face and smiled at him.  That seemed to bring him out of the trance that he was in.  Still not sure he could believe his own eyes, despite the fact that it meant Daniel was hugging Jack’s hallucination, he moved towards the woman at the end of the room.  Daniel backed away from her and moved back over to Teal’C.

“Car-?”, Jack stopped himself, not wanted a repeat of what had happened before.  “What?  When?  What?” he stammered.

She took a step closer to him, mindful of the fact that, despite the fact she was no longer military, she was on a military base.  And the General in command just happened to be a good friend of her father.

With a smile and a promise in her eyes, she leaned towards him she said softly, “I came home.  You can call me Sam.”


End file.
